THE FLUFFY SUNGLASSES
One day I was walking home from school when I bumped into someone.
I looked up to see it was a lady quite a large lady. So large it looked like she was about to POP.
She was wearing a lot of pink. A pink jacket, pink shoes, a pink skirt, and unusual sunglasses
The sunglasses were pink and fluffy with rhinestones. She looked down at me and said, ‘Oh sorry dear’ and continued walking. While I stood there wondering how she was that large. I watched her walk down the road and sent people tumbling on her way. Then I walked home
THE END
Stella Ní Chaithnia
You hooked me into your text with the descriptive details you provided. The repetition of the word ‘pink’ helped to create a vivid picture. I wonder who this quite large lady was, and where was she going? I would probably have edited out ‘Then I walked home’, since it doesn’t add to your text, and I personally don’t like ‘The end’ in a text. I think readers assume that when the text ends, you have finished telling your story. 😊🌻
ReplyDeletei dont think stella asked for your opinion mrswills1 so shushshsh
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